The Lamont Fulton Hunting Adventures
... as written by the Beat Down:
Tuna. It's all about tuna, on wheat, with pickles and lettuce. I wonder how you say that in Spanish. Como se dice en espanol?
I have a tuna sandwich tucked away in my bag at this very moment. Mmm...
I like tuna. Hmm.. I wonder what live tuna looks like. I've never seen a tuna fish. I hear dolphins are always dying cause they get caught in tuna nets. And Fred told me about this machine that translates Dolphin (the language) into English. So, when properly used a human and a dolphin can have a conversation. Just like two dolphins would have or two humans.
I don't want to be labled a naysayer, but I told him that in order for me to believe that, I'd have to speak with a dolphin myself.
Anyway, upon hearing about the tuna nets and the Dolphin translator I suggested that humans tell the dolphins to stay away from the nets, that way the dolphins will know they are dangerous and ta-da! no more drowned dolphins. But then after much mulling I came to the conclusion that this would never work. Rather, dolphins would probably develop their own tuna nets to use against each other in dolphin wars. And then the dolphins would probably create a tuna net sport and and a tuna net sport association- where all they would do come up with "controlled" ways of playing in or around the nets. And then there would be a tuna net amendment in their dolphin constitution allowing every dolphin the right to own and use a net as long as they had a tuna net license. And tragically dolphin parents would sometimes forget to lock their tuna nets up and the dolphin kids would find them and accidently net themselves while showing off for friends...
But then I thought what the hell am I getting all worked up for, I mean, dolphins aren't stupid; humans are.
posted by Mercuryblue @ 7:18 PM
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